Any chance I could get those lost hours of my life back, please???

I mean NO OFFENSE to anyone (or in my case, everyone I know that is reading/has read) regarding the FIFTY SHADES trilogy, but I gave it a chance. I read all 3, and I was pretty vocal on my disdain starting with the first one…and having finished the third, I can without a doubt say that these may be THE WORST books EVER (making the ‘Twilight’ saga- sorry again, Twilight lovers- look like Shakespeare). I was literally rolling my eyes in disgust (and NOT at the redundant sex scenes, which were just insanely ridiculous)…but at the terrible writing, and dialogue and “plot.” Maybe I just don’t get it. I’m totally ok with that. (Also, whoever has my copy of book one- luckily my sis bought them all- can keep it, or loan it or whatever). Maybe I’m just not easily shocked when it comes to poorly written ‘erotic’ (and I use that term loosely) scenes. Or, maybe I’m a cynic and I don’t see the ‘love story’ in the books that other people see. But I (painstakingly) read them all, so I can at least state my opinions having read this overrated garbage. That’s just this critic’s opinion 😉 And, end rant.
(However, I DID read that both Ian Somerhalder (Damon on ‘Vampire Diaries’) and Alexander Skarsgaard (Eric on ‘True Blood’) were interested in the part of Christian for the (destined to be a hit, even though the story is crap) movie version. I will freely admit that if either of them do play the part, I will illegally download the movie and watch it. I’m not above breaking the law (cause I’m not going to spend $10 to see it in theaters). Just sayin’).
On a similar note- I have no interest in ‘Magic Mike’, either. Yes, Channing Tatum is hot. Guys gyrating in G-strings- laughable, not sexy. For my 18th birthday my best friend and I went to “The Cave”, the (now defunct) male strip club in Philly. It was hilarious. But nothing sexy about a guy thrusting his junk in a patriotic G-string to “Always” by Bon Jovi. I guess I’m just jaded. Or doing a good job convincing everyone I’m a lesbian (I’m NOT). But in some cases, less does NOT equal MORE.
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